Dear Testicular Cancer

About one week after the operation my urologist set up a ct-scan meeting for me. The ct-scan takes x-ray slices of the body and allows the radiologists to examine the lymph glands which could have been affected by the tumor. The seminoma tumor spreads almost exclusively through the lymph system.

The main purpose of the ct-scan after the operation is to determine the amount of spreading of the tumor across the body, this is referred to as staging.

The ct-scan procedure took about 10 minutes total. I lied down on the platform, the nurse hooks my arm up to some contrast liquid which allows the ct-scanner to highlight the blood and the lymph system. Then the platform goes back and forth about 4 times and a recorded voice tells me when to start and stop breathing. At one point the voice says: “… and now the contrast will give you a warm feeling across your body.” I felt the liquid pumping through my entire blood system in about twenty seconds… what an uncomfortable and unexpected feeling. I guess I was not prepared for it even though they have explained it to me.

My scan was clean! No apparent spreads visible. Yes! The doctor said that I was lucky. Loosing a testicle is not the most pleasant thing in the world, but if he had to pick a tumor he’d probably pick mine.

So I am officially a seminoma stage I patient.

Two weeks after the antibiotics ended, the symptoms returned: Reddish color, slightly bigger, uncomfortable to touch. I also noticed the stinging pain in the groins, legs and stomach at various intervals (every three to five hours).

I went to another urologist for the followup. He checked my prostate and thorougly examinated my testicles and my penis. He was not very gentle. I asked him whether there was a chance that orchitis or epididmitis would reoccur? Holding my right testicle between his thumb and index finger he replied: “We have to make sure that this is not a cancer.”

Now I was really concerned and the more I worried the more I started to feel the pain. My girlfriend told me to relax and helped me find some distraction. We went out for a dinner with some of our friends. I did not tell them anything about the desease. I just wanted to have a good time. The distraction worked. The pain disappeared for a couple of hours. I now believe firmly that relaxation and happiness are a very positive medicine for the body.

The next day I was turned down for another ultrasound and ct-scan examination by the receptionist at the hospital, I did not have enough money in the bank account (welcome to America!), I gave up on my search for an acceptable urologist in New York. I returned back to my home town in Switzerland where my parents have found a lead to the best urologist in town.

He gave me a spot a few days later. The sonogram diagnosis took less than twenty seconds. He predicted with 95% probability that there was a tumor in my right testicle. The elevated beta-HCG values indicated that we’re most likely dealing with a seminoma. A highly treatable tumor. The left testicle showed some slight irritations in the epidimis, otherwise it looks like it is in good shape. He signed me up for surgery one week later and told me not to worry. “We can help you and you will be 100% healthy again.” Despite the tumor diagnosis and the slight fear of having a testicle removed I felt relief for the first time.

The next day I went back to work. I told my boss what happend and he was very supportive . The antibiotics seemed to work. The right ball started to feel more normal after 3 days. The scrotum took on a more normal looking skin color and I felt that I was on the way to recovery.

The doctor suggested wearing a jock strap. To this day I am not quite sure where to get this contraption. I asked a girl at the pharmacy around the corner if they carried it but when I noticed that she got uncomfortable I started to feel embarrassed. Any suggestions on where to get these things, maybe online? Does anyone else wear these things? My brother just laughed at me when I showed him the images of it online and asked if I needed to wear these things until the rest of my life…

Honestly, who really keeps track of what’s going on down there? Are they bigger? Are they harder?  Was the right one always this big? Is it ok that they have different sizes?

One thing that did catch my attention however was this short, sharp pain coming from the left testicle. Really short ones, lasting one to two seconds perhaps in intervals of 2 to 3 months.

I thought that it might be related to my old cell phone that I’ve been carrying around in my left jeans pocket, spending most of the day right next to my testicle.  For a moment I thought it might be worth investigating whether cell phone radiation have the capability to decrease the fertility of men and at the same time I thought it might be a reason to finally get a new phone. It is really old and bulky. (it’s similar to the one on the photo). Either way it sounded like a dumb theory and I was also too lazy to bother going to a doctor and have it checked out, since it really only happend every other month or so. Putting the cell phone in my jacket usually did the trick

I still have the same phone by the way. I like to hang on to things if they work.